Torture by definition is: The infliction of physical and or emotional punishment.
Okay so for starters, I know that it’s pretty fucked up to say that monogamy is torturous because it is after all the very foundation that a “good” relationship is supposed to be built on; right after blind trust and honesty and all of that other idealistic shit, right?
Well I was riding around the city the other night with my girls, just eating red Gummi Bears, laughing at our pitiful attempts to re-tell the jokes we’d just heard at a comedy show at Caroline’s Comedy Club and you know, just enjoying the fuckery of a Saturday night…when eventually the topic of men came up, followed by sex and then relationships… All of my girls, like most people (women in general) seem to agree that monogamy is the greatest thing on the planet!
I feel differently. And I’ll tell you why… It’s because I’m a realist. I know and accept that fact that being in a relationship/ having a steady boyfriend or girlfriend does not negate your attraction to others. Sure, when you’re smitten with a certain someone your carnal desires for all others may be numb for a bit, but never paralyzed. We’re all human. A curious species who are both visually and emotionally enticed, by nature. No “one thing” completely satisfies us in any aspect, so why should the person we commit to be the exception? I think that the institution of monogamy is a rather unnatural ritual that we’ve been socially and traditionally coerced into. I mean think about it, you go all your life being attracted to, dating and fucking who you want…You meet someone who makes you happy. They’re a great friend and lover. You fall in love and yada yada yada… Then you’re hit with the “M” word. Monogamy. “We’re together, so you can only spend your time with me, spend your money on me, your smiles are for me, I’m your soul mate, so your soul is mine, you love me so your heart is mine, you can only flirt with me, spend long hours on the phone with me, sacrifice for me and most importantly…you can only have sex with me.”
All of those new stipulations represent both emotional and physical restriction; AKA punishment. Monogamy is pretty much a self imposed sentence that is served for the duration of your time with a significant other. It’s a sugarcoated deprivation, propagated by love.
Taking things, people or activities that you enjoy away from yourself takes much getting used to and even after you’re ‘used to it’ , seeing what you’ve weaned yourself off of will sometimes inflict a longing so profuse that it's painful. Some break under the pressure and they cheat or part ways from their significant other. What can I say? It happens; I don’t judge... But I will say that as much shit as I talk, I know that a little bit of “pain” is good for you. I’m paradoxically a glutton for punishment; four years and counting. Currently, yet not always utterly, happily doing my bid.
3 comments:
I cant say i disagre-- I LOVE my man and he is the one.. but honestly i dont want this whole " ME ME ME-- NO ONE ELSE FOR YOU BUT ME" BS... shittttttttt
hmm, I was recently having a discussion on the reason I don't do long distance relationships and a lot of this was my reason. People will always fall victim to "the grass is greener on the other side" process because it's focused around curiosity. In terms of sex directly, you will wonder what it feels like to fuck another person, how they perform oral (for women) his size and (for men) how tight she gets etc.
Either you can fight these urges, you give in and lie to your partner, or you talk about it and see if you can find a resolution that works for the two of you.
*hopes that 4 year bid an counting is in reference to relationship as opposed to one long as drought lol*
I agree about monogamy as ritual that we are tricked into believing. I think you might really enjoy this article called "The Irony of Monogamy." Here is a link:
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-17712-Cleveland-Open-Relationships-Examiner~y2009m7d26-The-irony-of-monogamy
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