I am his dirty little secret. As for every sex session, I keep it hidden back in the black corners of my mind.
Every time we talk it's well past late; whispering the rendezvous point for our next dirty date.
I wait for his lady to leave, let the phone ring once, then hang up; we hook up, go down, come up for air, I fix my hair and pretend not to care that he's not mine and in his world I do not exist.
I pretend that each secret kiss inches me closer to the granting of the wistful wish that I was more to him than just a piece of ass; more than the meek student in the back of his class with her hand raised toward outer space, silently pleading to replace the woman seen with him in public.
I long to be his lady; to spend more than sweaty hours between sheets with him.
To begin a conversation that has nothing to do with my thighs parting or me starting to cum.
When it's over I say to myself that I'm done.
I'll no longer be the one to give pieces of myself, to be an invisible notch on his belt; because I deserve more.
I am too wonderful to be muffled behind a closed door. Too great to pour myself until empty and leave no trace of me for true love to find.
But I remain blind to reason. Thoughts are merely unwritten treason, because I ignore my advice; scratch it away like hair lice.
I keep giving him coochie coupons that are valid in the wee hours of the night, because of the naive hope that one of them might get him to catch feelings, and we might become one instead of two; and I'd no longer do dirty deeds to appease dirty needs; you see the skeleton we've constructed is in my closet and I don't want to keep it.
I don't want to be his dirty little secret.
9 comments:
Beautiful poetry, didn't know if you were really gonna post it :)
people in this situation should get out of it quickly unless they don't mind being in it. Besides the fact that you already know he's a cheater, if a guy makes it painfully obvious that it's all about sex then a woman should really believe him and not expect anything more.
Thanks City...Why wouldn't I post it?
:) :)
I agree with your prognosis; the only thing is, sometimes it is hard for a person to let go of what they know is emotionally empty because they want more from it and they hold onto the hope that the person that they are cheating with will begin to care more about them/ catch feelings.
Great post. I think it really gets to what a young woman in this situation often feels. However, we know the obvious, right? He's not going to leave his wife and he's not serious about her and she's going to end up heartbroke.
Situations like this are the demise of a good woman. She becomes very sour and disturbed after too many of these situations. :)
You know what an interesting twist would be: if he did leave for his mistress and she didn't want him as much as she thought and he becomes the insane lover. Maybe it's been done before, but I think that would be interesting - at first she's like this, then it transfers to him at the end.
I'm just brainstorming from your post - sorry for the rambling. LOL.
ok I can agree with your point. I guess the best solution is to avoid messing with people that are already in a relation, or at least get out before you start catching deep feelings
@E's
It's funny that you mention the "twist" or tables being turned to where the man becomes the one who wants more from his lover...because that actually happens to one of the characters in a book that I am writing right now...There are lots of circumstances and issues that led up to it happening in my novel...but all in all that is what winds up transpiring.
I would say from your pictures and your writing, you have excellent talent behind you. LOL.
@ E's ..
That was extremely cheezy, lol but thanks. I'll take it.
Absolutely love this!
great stuff! while i was scrolling down, your booty photo just stayed in my mind ;-)) damn girl!!
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